Funny sms

Tickle your funny bone.Have fun and make your friends cheerup with funny sms.


All Izz Well

Baba ranchoddas said on neend:”neend k piche mat bhago,agr bhagna hai to pdhai k piche bhago,neend jhak mar k tumhare piche ayegi....All Izz Well.

Increase ur happiness and decrease ur sorrows

Modern wishes: May god increase ur happiness daily like the price of petrol!! And Decrease ur sorrows like ur mobile balance..!!

Dosti ki life

School ki lyf 12th tak college ki lyf final year tak love ki lyf shaadi tak but hummari dosti 30 february tak jab aayegi tab tod denge!!

Sensex is down

Sensex is Down.Petrol,Gold and Property are not affordable.So Invest in Relations,Feelings and Friendship.Its d only Promising Investment to get Good Returns.

Johnny johnny yes papa

Johnny johnny... yes papa!
Job in iT...yes papa!
Lot of tension...yes papa!
Too much work...yes papa!
Family life...no papa!
Bp.sugar.high papa!
Yearly bonus...joke papa!
Annual pay...Low papa!
Personal life...Lost papa!

Wish you happy birthday

Wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY.Confuse Agbedi 'THOMAS EDISON' Tube light kandu hidida dina ivattu.Adakke yella tube light gu wish madta idini.

Life s greatest lesson

My life has always taught me one grt lesson.which should b kept in mind 4 entire lifetime....MAGGI can never b made in 2 minutes.Dont expect emotional msgs everytime.

To sit and do nothing

Crow sitting on a tree doing nothing,Rabbit thought 2 do d same and sat on ground.A wolf came and ate it. MORAL:”2 Sit and do Nothing,u need 2 b on the top”

Internet bill

Respect your parents. They pay for your internet bill.

Having attitude problem

I don't have an attitude problem. I just have an attitude and i don't find it to be problem.

Can you live without love

People say they cant live without love, But i feel oxygen is more important.

Apple and Blackberry

Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just friends.

Talking back and Explaining

Parents call it talking back. We call it explaining

Single or Lonely

SINGLE??? No, i'm just in a relationship with freedom.

Correct the sentence

Teacher : Correct the sentence,
A bull and a cow is grazing in the field
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Great people great thoughts

Great thought frm great ppl:-
If sOmeOne in yOur life makes yOu tO fOrget yOur Past,
tht sOmeOne is prObably ur Future!

Oldman and the barber

A Old man had 8 hair on his head he went to barber shop ...
Barber in anger asked SHALL I CUT Or COUNT?
old man smiled & politely said!
COLOUR IT baby..

Poetry and essay

What is D difference between POETRY & ESSAY ?
Any word you uttered by a GIRLFRIEND is a POETRY.
While anything said by WIFE is ESSAY.

Fine from traffic police

Every1 goes wit flow
but d 1 who goes opposite to d flow becomes some1 remarkable in lyf
before i could explain dis 2 TRAFFIC POLICE
He issued me FINE receipt!"

Fish or blackberry

GF-Wer r u?
BF-I m in bank
GF-I need 10000Rs 4 Blackbry & 3000Rs 4 haircut.
BF-Sorry, I meant I m at d
Bank of a River"" U want Fish?

Settle abroad boys vs girls

How 2 settle abroad?
For boys:
Study hard
Get gud grades
Apply student visa
Wait 4 cal
Go abroad
Work hard
Get gud job.
For girls, . . . . Marry dat boy.!

Drinks and their ages

AGE 0F DRINKS:
3-8 ->Cerelac
9-13 ->Horlicks
14-17->Beer
18-25->Vodka
26-40->Whisky
41-50->Rum
51-60->Tonic
61-65->Glucose
66+->AnyTime"" thulashi neer..

Zulfo and shayri

Girl-Mujhpar shayri kro
Boy-in kali kali zulfo se karti ho andhera
in kali kali zulfo se karti ho andhera
ho jao takli aur krdo savera..!!

Papu and his new college

Papu opens a new College.
Bt Students r confused to take Admission..
Coz College name ws:
Papu Medical College of Enginering fr Commerce & Arts:)

Boss and employee papu

BOSS-JAbSe Maine Tumhe
JobSe NikaLa H
TbSe Tum Roz
Mere GharKe Samne LATRINE
Q Karte Ho?
Papu-Apko Ye Batane
K Liye Ki
Mai Bhuka Nhi
Mar Rha

Whom u hate the most

Teacher: Children., whom do u hate d most?
UKG Boy: Rajaram Mohan Roy.
Teacher: Oh God!! Y do U hate him?
UKG Boy: He abolished Child Marriage..

Eight year old robber

A priest asks a naughty 8yr old boy- wer is god?
Boy screams, runs home & tells his frends
dude, god is missing. & they think we did it

Everybody makes mistakes

In this world
everybody makes mistakes,
but only
girlfriend, wife & boss
have the gifted talent
of finding them,
remembering them & reminding them...

Diwali ki safai

Hi,
Tomorrow..
You are cordially invited to join us with family & friends
for
"Diwali ki safai"
bahut kaam hai please mana mat karna...

VIM BAR se nahate ho

Kyon mera dil dukhate ho..
kyon muj se har baat chupate ho..
mera to dil hi toot gaya ye sunkar ki aap..
. . . VIM BAR se nahate ho...

Think about studies

Bus Driver Sudnly aplyd break, Boy fell on gal n kisd her
Gal: Hey wat r u doin?
Boy: MBA & u?
She smild & said B.Tech
Moral: ALWAYS THNK abt Studies..

Ten girls under an umbrella but don t get wet

"10 Girls under a small umbrella. Bt nobody get wet.
HOW?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Bcoz...it was Not RAINING.
Moral-dont think like a scientist..!"

jab bomb gira to jor se phata kya

"INDIA TV Reportr ne zakhmi se pucha ""jab bomb gira to kya wo jor se phata?"" Zakhmi(gusse se): Nahi, Wo Rengta hua mere pas Aya Aur Sharma kar bola ""Bhamm.""

Five year old son crying

"5 yr son ws crying,
Dad came n ask-Y r u crying? Tel me i m ur frnd na?
SON- kuch nahi yar, jara sa horlicks kya manga teri item bhadak gayi."

Wear the shoes

True lines: Before truth wear the shoes, rumors already finish the world tour....

Heights of interest

" A man saw a board at center of river, he tried to read bt he cudnt.
So, he swims to d center & rd it
"CROCODILES INSIDE DONT JUMP"......!!!!!

Height Of Facebook Update

Height Of Facebook Update :-
"Just finished my marriage, now entering into room fr first night!!!!"
25 likes 1 comment,,,,,
keep on updating, v r on line......!!!!!!

Ht of interest

Ht of interest:
" A man saw a board at center of river, he tried to read bt he cudnt. So, he swims to d center & rd it
"CROCODILES INSIDE DONT JUMP"......!!!!!

Walking in rain

"I love to walking in rain so tat no one can see my tears"
dis is old but latest is
"I love to walk in all d season because petrol price is " 74+ per litre.

Single vada vs a phone call

15Years back :
1 VADAI IS 50ps and 1 Call is 5Rs..
But now
1 call is 50Ps and 1 vadai is 5rs
Moral:technology is improved but Enna use?Vada poche.

Answer my next question

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home.
Pappu throws bag out of the window.
Teacher: Who threw that?
Pappu: Me, Im going home.

TAX vs FINE

"FINE" is a 'TAX' for doing wrong things......:
where as
"TAX" is a 'FINE' for doing right things..........

Everything in the world is beautiful

"Everything in d world is beautiful
in a particular Context.....
A School bel sounds makes us angry at 9 AM
but d same sounds melodious at 4PM"

Why are you sleeping in class?

Teachr:y r u slpng in d cls?
Stdnt:ur voice s so swt mam dat im getin slp
Teachr:den y r d others nt slpng?
Studnt:dey r nt listning 2 u mam....!"

We are not married yet

Girl: When we get married,
I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: Its very kind of you, darling, But I dont have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we arent married yet.

My Son has swallowed a key

Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key.
Doctor: When ?
Man:Three Months Ago
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Man: We were using duplicate key"

Three Classical signs that a person is Engineer

Three classical signs that a person is Engineer
........"STRESSED"....
...."DEPRESSED"...
......Still well "DRESSED"......

Kurkure and love

In a park 2 lovers eating KURKURE by looking each other eyes
Girl:"dear Wat r u thinking at dis moment?"
Boy:"u r eating more KURKURE than me"

Its not comedy time

NAMSKARA.. NAMSKARA... NAMSKARA....!
SORRY..
"Edhu Comedy Time alla,
Malaguva time.."
So--
Good Night...
Good Night...
Good Night...

Matter is very serious

Sorry to disturb U..
Matter is serious..
Actually we r playing CARDS joker is missing!
So plz send ur passport size photo urgently..:-)

You may lose your hair

As years go u may lose ur hair,
teeth,
eye sight
but not ur
smartness,
talent,
brightness
and
intelligence...
Bcoz u can lose only wat u hav..

Wedding and boxing are same?

DRAGSTER:
Y do couples hold hands during their wedding??
Its just a formality,
like 2 BOXERS shaking hands before d FIGHT!!!

Engineering student and different semesters

ENGINEERING STUDENT:
1st sem- "Guys just 2 weeks left for d internals. Lets start studying."
3rd sem- "Macha still a week left. Lets start tomorrow".
5th sem-"Man internals tomorrow!! Shall we start?"
7th sem- " Dude, 3 holidays on account of internals.
Where shall we go?"

Are you joking idiot

HOD to a engineering student. HOD:U must score atleast 75% in exam. stdnt:no sir l wil score 100%. HOD:r u doing joke over here.... stdnt: idiot who started joking first?

How does ice cube leak?

Papu looking at an ice cube in sunlight from 1 hour.
Sumone asked him wat r u doing ...?
Papu replied: i m checking from where its leaking .....!

Exams and study holidays in engineering

At the time of STUDY holidays::
8 am-get up.,
9 am-break fast.,
10am -thinkin to score 100 &
then afternoon lunch..
Sleep & in evening tea thinking to score 60..
after dinner..
thinking to score 35..
In the exam hall thinking of how many subjects to put to revaluation...
This is Engineering...

Hardest things learnt in college

Father- Wt were d 2 hardest things you learnt in cøllege?
Son- Opening beer bottles with teeth,
&
lighting cigarettes with only 1 match left in heavy wind!!

How old are you now?

Nearly 120 scientists are struggling fröm many years to know how many
years can a man live without brain...
.
.
.
plz tell them how old you are..

Papu and chemical symbol

Prof: Chemical symbol of Barium..?
Papu: BA.
Prof: For Sodium..?
Papu: NA.
Prof: What happens when 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combine..?
Papu:BANANA.

Live to get her

Read this
"LIVETOGETHER".
How did u read,
LIVE TOGETHER
or
LIVE TO GET HER.
Just a beautiful way 2 say life is the way how u look at it....!

Pyar and drink bar

"PYAR"
HOTA HAI 1 BAR
PHIR DIL BEKRAR
PHIR DIL PE WAR,
PHIR YAD ATA HAI YAR,
AUR PHIR JATE HAI
"MADHUVAN BAR"..

Which great person to follow?

"Laziness is our biggest enemy" -Jawaharlal Nehru.
"We should learn to love our enemies"- Mahathma Gandhi.
Which one to follow?... Confusing na...

Monkey and your personal matter in kannada

1 Question For u:
Manga Yavaglu Mai Turistiralu karanavenu ??
Bejarayta.?, SORRY Nim personel matter nangyake..?
Alva.. Ha ha

Asha has a small heart

BAAP OF ALL PJ's-
What do u call a girl who is short in height n has a small heart ??
Ans:ASHA
y ?How?
Dil hai chota sa choti si 'ASHA';-)

Get separate bills for me and her

Boy & girl in hotel.
Boy-i love you..
Girl-i dont love you.
Boy-think again?
Girl-i told u..No
Boy-waiter,bring seperate bills..
Girl-i love u too..

Marriages may be made in heaven

"Marriages may be made in heaven,
But maintenance charges are paid on earth".

How can kidney go to school?

Doctor: Your Kidney has Failed.....
Papu: Doctor what are you saying?
My Kidney never went to School then how can it fail.

Laugh now Smile later

"laugh until U have teeth
U can smile later!!

Only two persons in this world are happy

Only two persons in this world are happy:
one is MAD
and
another is CHILD.

i am normal and you are mental

FUN: Believe me, we are true friends... I am lamp, you are light... I am Coke, you are Sprite... I am sky, you are cloud... I am normal, you are mental...

If we both are alive after hundred years

If both of us are alive after 100 years what does it mean.....
Obviously it means that HELL IS FULL.

Lets dance kannada fun

Lets dance, "Om shanthi om"
<@/ )) />
<@> (( >> @/
<))<<
<@> ((
< > @
<))> >>@/
<))/>
OK, ok ok ok. istu Saku Nale 'bulbulayaa

Funny kannada sms

After the huge success in kannada movie
"E PREETI YEKE BHOOMI MELIDE",
the producers making a new film named
"E KOTHI YEKE MOBILE NODTIDE"
ha ha.?¿?.....

Nurse and her body spray

NURSE To KiD:
Breathe Deeply & Now Slowly Exhale
KiD: Ok
NURSE: What Do U Feel Now.?
KiD:Ur BODY SPRAY is Simply SuperB.

He kisses her all the time

Wife: Pointing at a couple next door says to her husband,
look at him he kisses her all the time,
can not u do that?
Husband: Tried
but she slapped me."

When u feel the world is empty and full of darkness

"Whenever u feel the world is empty and full of darkness,
just come and hold my hand,,,,,,,,,,
i will take to "EYE CARE CLINIC".

Crying to solve a problem

Crying does not solve any problem
But it......
Surely Cleanses your eyes
Cry regularly to have clear eyes lol!

Leaving to US for further studies

Boy leaving to US for further studies
Girl:I will miss you
Boy:I wont miss you
Girl:What???
Boy:I will enjoy life
Girl:Will you forget me?
Boy:No,I will always be in touch with you through facebook.

Cant travel without you

I can t travel anywhere without you
Every morning you make me feel fresh
Every night you force me to use you
You help me face the world with confidence.
.......
.......
.......
..........
I was talking about my toothbrush.....
Now ,what were u thinking??

Heights of learning byheart

Eye doctor:Read the letters on the first line of the board.
Boy: Reads correctly A B P K T
Eye doctor: OK,Read the letters on the second line.
Boy:Reads correctly c w q r b
Eye doctor: Wondering,Read the letters on the bottom second line.
Boy: Reads correctly f g h i o
Eye doctor: Confused,Read the letters on the last line.
Boy: Reads correctly p s e l b
Eye doctor: Son you have a perfect eyesight.Why are you wearing those glasses?
Boy:Because I can't read without the glasses.
Eye doctor:But then you read everything correctly now without your glasses
Boy:I actually memorized those letters while I was waiting to see you

Formula for Success

Formula for success=Hardwork + Play + Keeping mouth under control.

Can you do anything that others cannot do?

Ron:Can you do anything that others cannot do?
Rahul:Oh yes,I can read my own handwriting!

There is something which money cant buy

Money can buy fancy dresses
Money can buy yummy food
Money can buy smartphones
Money can buy luxurious apartments
There are somethings which money cant buy
But you can buy it with credit card

I need your hand to correct me

If I go wrong I need your hand to CORRECT me
If I win I need your hand to SUPPORT me
If I am lost I need your hand to guide me




So cut and courier your hand to me!

Dil to Pagal hai

Dil ne kaha dost ko
sms karenge,Phir Khayal aya k
Dil to Pagal hai,Phir Socha
Dil Agar Pagal hai tho Kya hua?
Mera dost konsa normal hai...

You are a Genius

I still remember the day I
sent an sms to you saying
'Sender is cool and Reader is fool'


You got angry and replied
'Sender is fool and Reader is cool'
u are a Genius

Jab koi baat bigad jaye

Jab koi baat bigad jaye
Jab koi mushkil badh jaye,Toh
Hoth ghuma,Seeti baja k bol....
Bhaiya...
AAL IZZ WELL...

Importance of thumb

Imp of thumb:
Babies use it 4 chewing..
Illiterate People use it 4 sign..
Winners use it 4 victory..&
my fans use it 4 readng my msgs..
Oh..u too..? Crazy fans!""";;;;

A boy wrote a love letter with his blood

A boy wrote love letter
wit his BLOOD 2 a medical girl & said
"Plz reply 4 my letter."
Girl replyd:
"Blood group B+
Hemoglobin 12
Sugar-ok
Fees-Rs.500"

Maths teacher asked Johny to solve a problem

Maths teacher asked JOHNY If u have 12 chocolates and u give 5 to DONA, 3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ? JOHNY replied "Sir! 3 new girl friends".

Nobody had a watch in the past

Funny but true THOUGHT:- In the past, nobody had a watch but Everyone had Time... now everyone has a watch but NOBODY has TIME;-)